Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Parents Living Through Their Kids

My son and my nephew are 7 and 6 years old. Both boys LOVE golf. My son is playing on a team and getting lessons Tuesday and Thursday nights in a group setting at our local golf course. Here pretty soon they are going to start playing with other teams from other golf courses in our area. My nephew has been getting private lessons and he is REALLY GOOD at this point. I saw video of his swing and I DREAM of the day my swing looks like his...heck even my son is already better than me. This past weekend I was talking to my brother-in-law about a tourney that my nephew played in recently. The dad's were the caddies for their kids. I was curious how it went because Jack will be doing this type of stuff in the future. He said most of the dad's are supportive naturally but there was definitely instances that would be considered mental abuse of a child. Here is some of what he heard.

- I cannot believe you missed that put. You are an embarrassment.
- What is wrong with you. Get your dam head in the game.
- I can't look at you right now. Just go to the cart. ( Kid goes to cart crying)

All of these kids are 6 and 7 years old mind you. What are these parents trying to accomplish?

Two years ago when my son was playing soccer he was a monster. He was aggressive and went after the ball. My son is big for his age. He is tall and he is thick. In sports when kids run into one another Jack wins those collisions 95% of the time and he keeps going. The other 5% of the time he might fall or trip. I was in the hospital at the time getting chemo so I missed this situation. I talked to my son on the phone that day about his soccer game and he was not his usual self and I got my wife on the phone and asked her what was going on? She told me that there was this kid on the other team that was aggressive like Jack and they had "run into" one another 5 times during the game. Jack won all five of those "run ins". I guess the other kid was determined but how many times do you have to get run over to learn a new tactic right? Well at halftime that kids dad got on the field and started yelling at my son. Thank GOD I was not there or I would have torn this dude apart. You NEVER approach a 5 year old(at the time) and do that. You have a problem approach your coach and let them handle it. It changed the way my son played soccer from then on. His aggressiveness was gone. The next two years the coach moved him back to fullback and goaly because he would only be aggressive if the kids came to him. Last year he started to whine about playing the last couple of games so we decided to give soccer a rest and focus on karate, basketball, and golf.

Remember parents- always be supportive and at the age of 6 and 7 the kids are there to have fun. Who really cares what the score is?

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