Well I finally made to the cancer support group at my church. This is something that I have been wanting to do for a while but for various reasons and they are REASONS not excuses I have not been able to go. Tracey went with me because we were told there would be people who were cancer patients and their care givers there. It is important for Tracey to have someone talk to about what she is going through.
While we were by far the youngest in the group it was great to talk to people who are or have gone through what I have gone through. Tracey has been superwoman through all of this but there are some things that I want to talk about that she can't help me or understand what I deal with so I don't talk about it. Let me explain.
Someone mentioned last night about the first time that they went without thinking about cancer and is this okay if I touch this or eat that.
THAT is something I want to talk about. While I am in good health now a day does not go by that I don't think about the "what if" question. Work has been great. I have been swamped but it my mind is totally committed to work right now so I don't think about it as much but it still happens.
I guess until I get the all clear sign from my doctor and I am an official survivor of cancer I won't be "worry free"....but you get my point. These are the things that I think about....at night when everyone is asleep...or on my way to work or on my way home. I still remember sitting there in the hospital the first time thinking...this may be it? Only 35 years. What the Deuce God....You gave Hitler like 56 years!!!! The second time I went through this I thought...God? If you want to kill me just hit me with a bus or something? Why are you dragging this out?
These are the things that I want to talk to people who have been there before. That while I have talked to my wife about I know scares her so I don't go there.
She needs this group because she needs the same support from those that been the caregiver. I think this group will be great for both of us. Everyone keep me committed to the 4th Monday of each month.
Thanks,
Jdhteach aka Huffdaddy
1 comment:
We are told in the bible that God will not give us more than we can bear. I think sometimes the individual goes thru something extreme so they can help the next person.
I see you as being a very positive person thru all of this.
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