Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Bill Cosby Parenting

So I had one of those Bill Cosby raising a child moments a few days ago with Jack. Tracey came into the house and approached me with a look. My first thought was, man I hope that look is not for something I did. As she got toward me she said, “You need to go outside and get your son. If I have to do it he may get hurt.” Relieved she was not after me my response was “I am on it.”
Tracey tells me that Jack was supposed to come inside and go to his room but instead jumped on his bike and took off down the alley.
So I go outside the front and there he is riding down the sidewalk. I call his name and he looks at me with a very upset look on his face and he begins to whine as he walks up the front side walk.
This is where I inform him that AT THIS TIME I don’t know all of the details as to WHY he is in trouble and that I am here to collect him and bring him into the house. I also inform the boy that at this time I am the only friend he has who can HELP him. So he needs to knock off any attitude before he proceeds any further. My advice to him is to go around the back of the house and put his bike up and to quietly enter the house without drawing any attention to himself from his mother and to meet me in my bedroom in three minutes.
He understands the situation evidently because his only response at this time is “Okay Daddy” and off he goes to the back.
This is where the fun part begins.
He enters my bed room and hops up on the bed with me. I ask him why he is in trouble and he begins with the following:
Jack: WELL CAROLINE
Me: STOP- I don’t want to hear about Caroline. If I determine I need to speak with her I will but right now I just want to know what JACK did to make MOM upset.
Jack- Big EXHALE followed by 5 second pause. Well I was getting on to Caroline in the store because she was irritating me and MOM got mad at me.
ME- Okay, mom is mad at you for getting onto Caroline in the store. Anything else Jack?
Jack- Mom getting on to ME made me mad so I started acting like a brat in the store to get back at her for getting on to me.
Me- OKAY JACK- I think I found your problem. Let’s look at this line of thinking. You got mad at mom for getting on to you in the store.
Jack- Yes
Me- So you decided to act up in the store to make mom MORE upset with you.
Jack- Yes
Me- Jack, does that line of thinking make sense to you? Mom is mad at you for acting up so you act up MORE in the store.
Jack- 3 second pause. Throws arms up in air.
WELL NO NOT NOW DAD!
He left the bedroom to go find MOM and apologize. As he was hugging on his mom I was doing everything I could to keep from busting out laughing .

2 comments:

MJP & SJP said...

Classic!

KC said...

This made me laugh SO HARD. But, also, I have to say, you handled it so well. You let him know you hadn't jumped to any conclusions, and you gave him an honorable way to salvage the situation. You let him know that you'd listen to relevant info, but that Caroline's actions weren't relevant. You walked him through the reasoning -- and then managed to hold it together when he responded! Great job -- and hilarious story!!!!