Friday, March 27, 2009

Reality STINKS Sometimes

As I sit here recovering from pneumonia I have come to realize that reality stinks. As recently as 3 years ago I could do whatever I wanted to phyically. I was 35 years old. A bit on the heavy side (302lbs) but I carried it well..I guess. I was working out and trying to lose weight.

As I sit here looking at my bird legs and stick arms I have multiple thoughts running through my head. First thing I thank God for seeing me through these tough sometimes life threatening medical times these past few years. Then as I am doing my rehabilitation exercises and walking with a cane (at times for stability) I think look what the hell have I been through. I have lost weight obviously (down to 219lbs) which is good but I am looking at least 6 months to a year before I can get this body toned up.

I don't remember how the song goes...something about I can't do what I once did but for one night I can . That is where I feel I am right now. If I can get in the first punch I am fine. If the person gets back up I am screwed.

The reality is this. I am a focal point in my family and I don't mean just Tracey and the kids. When the baton is passed from my dad it is going to go to me. So I have a huge responsibility to
Tracey,
The Kids
My parents
My sister

To be here!

If I am not here the family will crumble. I know what you are thinking . Just stay healthy and do everything you can to do this. While there are some things I can do at the same time it is not that easy. I feel like from February to April I have to be in a bubble!

The other day day my son said this to my dad.

Pa, if my daddy dies then one day my mommy will remarry and I will have a step dad. That is okay but he wont be my daddy. Pa you will be all that I have left.

Jack is EIGHT!! and he has to think about this crap.

I swear I will do everything in my power to stay healthy. God please help me. Everyone else. Just Pray

3 comments:

unt grad said...

I won't remarry until the kids are old enough to take care of themselves and are prodcutive members of society. Then, I'll think about it, maybe.

unt grad said...

Pitty party over. You're fine, you're going to be fine. Your life span may have taken a hit, but it's now time to think positive. Your five minutes of feeling sorry for yourself are over.

The MAN Fan Club said...

Life is a gift from God and many people don't appreciate what they have. I'm sure you do!

TheMAN