Coach Huffdaddy Accepts A Coaching Job!

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Coach Huffdaddy Approaches the Podium To Make His Coaching Decision Public

Coach HD- I would like to thank all of you for being here today. I know this is an exciting day for everyone. My record speaks for itself in that where ever I go I win so someone is going to have their furtunes turn dramatically with my decision. A lot went into this decision. Once I had this idea I must have thought about which team I was going to take over for a good 10 minutes. In the end it was a hard decision and an easy decision at the same time. Hard in that both of these teams have a history of being bad. Easy in that one of these teams is located in the North and that means cold. Huffdaddy don't do the cold anymore. Besides that university is located in Philadelphia. What a Sh#t Hole. Who wants to live there? So my decision is that I will be taking over the coaching and play calling duties on offense and defense for The SMU MUSTANGS!

Wait for applause and the flash of bulbs as I put on my SMU HAT and hold up a JERSEY with HUFFDADDY #1 for pictures.

At this time I will take questions

Can you go into a bit more detail about why you were looking at schools with the history of SMU? Sure! I was looking for a school that has a losing history. And I think we will agree that SMU fits this tradition since they came back from the death penalty.

Why a school with a losing history? Well I did this for a couple reasons. I have taken over at big schools before and quite frankly there was no challenge. They have the athletes and the recruiting pipelines are set. Year after year I was trying to decide what 5 star recuit to accept. After building up a record of 130-2and 9 National Chanmpionships with 7 of those in a row I decided to step away because it got boring. Here I can build up a school into national prominance and once again show I am a genius and at the same time get SMU to a bigger more respectable conference.

Can you go into more detail about Respectable Conference- Well yeah what are they in CONFERENCE USA? What the hell is that? Have you seen some of these teams. With the exception of Houston these teams would have a hard time beating some of the best HIGHSCHOOL teams in Texas...Anyone here seen Euless Trinity play? They got some mean Tongons! If I can recruit some of those Tongans I figure we can get that TONGAN DANCE tradition going and freak some teams out before we ever hit the field to actually play.

So what is your first step in turning things around? The first step has been taken. That is I am taking over their program. My name alone should be good for a couple of wins anyway. Next I am going to be looking at the schedule. My plan is to search real hard and find some teams worse than us? If I have dig down to division two schools I will. This give us the opportunity build confidence and for the players to get used to my calls both offensively and defensively so we will be ready to roll when conference time starts. After a couple of successful seasons we will start scheduling bigger fish to build up our quality of schedule and get us into a bigger conference.

What conference are you shooting for? The Big XII would be a natural fit.

What if the Big XII does not want to expand? Well they can either become the Big XIII or if they don't like that they can do a little trade. We move to the Big XII and one of their crappy teams like Baylor can move to our smaller conference. I think that would be a natural move. Baylor is awful and needs to admit they have not been competitive in the Big XII in the sports that matter and are not going to be for some time, Seriously, how are you going to recuit at Baylor? Come to Baylor and get the crap beat out of you by Texas, Texas Tech and Okalahoma yearly! Plus who wants to wear Gold and Green. Have you seen some of their uniform combinations? Gold on Gold with Gold Helmits? Barf. SMU is Red White and Blue...you don't get more American than that...and that mustang is pretty cool too.

Any more questions? No?

Well guys I want to thank you for coming out today and the next time we will talk will be before our first game. After that I will be doing post conferences after the games with a build up to our next game.

I hope you enjoyed this and look forward to Coach Huffdaddy's Conferences. It should be a fun season.