And Boom Goes The Dynamite

And Boom! Goes the dynamite! That is what happened last night. There is plenty of blame to go around. I have more than my share to stand up and accept. The kids had their share to take as well.
Issue #1- is that neither I nor Tracey like for our house to be messy. We don’t expect party clean but we want things to be picked up. There are two problems. It is extremely painful for me to walk on my feet. More this topic in a moment. The kids are old enough to pick up after themselves. The problem is they have yet to do it without us getting on to them. Every night it seems it is an issue. When we tell them it is time to clean up both of the kids start giving Tracey and I lip. More so Jack than Caroline.
Issue #2- My Feet- The heels of my feet are so sensitive that when I walk on them it is like knives stabbing into my foot. This has been going on since September but this past month has been the worst. It takes everything I got to make it through the day. Some days are better than others. Some days by the end of the day I am basically limited to walking with a cane and even that is labored. I wear tennis shoes to work because dress shoes are not an option. Weekends- I spend most of my time in my recliner only getting up if I have to so that my feet will be improved enough for walking by Monday.
Issue #3- Cataract Surgery- For three more days I can’t pick up anything more than 5 lbs or bend over. BUT I CAN SEE VERY WELL!!!
Issue #4- My hands- These hurt like hell as well. The tips of my fingers are very sensitive. There are many things I struggle to do. The list is long.
Because of these issues I am about as useful around the house as broken lamp. This means that too many things fall on Tracey to do and she (as anyone would) gets overwhelmed and short with me…the kids…..even the dogs at times must tread lightly. I could not do what she does.
At times I get down on myself. My whole physical situation is a beating to deal with on a daily basis. That is no lie. What I must work on is not letting this affect my mental state of mind. I get down on myself and then when the kids or Tracey snip at me for something I roar back. It goes downhill from that point as you can imagine.
Example:
Yesterday I wanted to be productive and fix lunch for the family and perhaps make some brownies for everyone to snack on the next few days. My feet were hurting but not as much as they had so I was going to make a go of it. The problem was I knew I had limited steps that I could take before my feet were done. Every time I tried to put something somewhere to work in the kitchen I found that something was already there and needed to either be put up or loaded into the dishwasher. I became more and more frustrated as I was trying work and I started banging some things as I was working in the kitchen. Tracey comes in to see what the problem is and asks me if anything is the problem? I said, “Yes, I am trying to make lunch for everyone but I can’t work in here because there is crap everywhere in here.” COULD HAVE HANDLED THAT ONE BETTER I ADMIT THAT! Tracey said, “I am only one person and I am not getting any help.” We refocused and Tracey helped me get the kitchen in order.

Last night Tracey was working with Jack on multiplication tables and Jack started getting a little difficult because he wanted to do something else. I chimed in with my thoughts and Jack yelled at me. Big mistake on his part and boom went the dynamite. Tracey got on to me for getting on to Jack and snapped back at Tracey.
So here is my vow!
Vow #1= I have got to get help on my feet. I am going to talk to my doctors today.
Vow #2- Pain or Not- I have got to get up and help Tracey with the kids more.

Cortizone Shot?